Much of living through COVID-19 has felt like just staying alive. After all, what are all the public health orders for, but to mitigate transmission of the virus to prevent ourselves and others from getting sick? Wash your hands, stay apart, stay at home, don't travel unless necessary.
We have all found our own ways to cope, from meditation and daily walks, to staying connected on video chats. But let's be real - it's all felt a bit like shit, hasn't it? Like some cheap version of a life we all once knew, where we were able to see each other in person, hug our family and friends, share meals together, travel to see loved ones and make grand plans for celebrations like weddings and birthdays.
In a previous post (and from my dark place, apparently), I wrote:
Life is dull, joyless. Coping is futile. I get enough sleep, I eat well (enough), I hydrate, I limit my alcohol intake. I wake up earlier and earlier, to write/work out/go for walks. I try and stay social, even though I've come to loathe computer screens for social interaction.
And... for what? To survive? To just exist, each day?
There are countless times when I have felt like this. But in the last week or so, rather than just trying to stay alive, I've discovered that I need to try and have a life - whatever that looks like during the times we live in now.
Having or making plans helps me feel like I have a life: going on a proper outing with hubs last weekend is one good example. One of my favourite authors Jenny Lawson a.k.a. The Bloggess is on her virtual book tour, so I popped into last week's chat moderated by Neil Gaiman and hosted by indie bookstore Literati. This past Friday, by fortunate accident we stumbled across Colin MacDonald from Canadian rock band The Trews doing a livestream concert from his couch; we cast it to our TV, and it almost felt like we'd invited him over to play a few songs for us in our own living room. Last night, I grabbed a drink and hopped onto a Zoom call with some old friends from high school - which to me, is today's version of "going out."
What it means to "have a life" might look different for everyone these days, depending on their circumstances. Maybe it's having a socially distanced hangout outside, or raising a newborn baby, or adopting a new puppy. Whatever it is, do it! As long as we're being responsible and not doing anything that could endanger or hurt someone else, we all deserve to have a life, even during COVID-19.
In my present situation, I'd forgotten that there is life beyond work; I'm very grateful to have recently been reminded of this in small but significant ways. And hopefully some day, there will be life beyond this f*cking pandemic. Until then, let's all find a way to live - and not just exist.
From The Trews on Facebook last week:
‘God Speed Rebel’ came out one year ago today on April 6th, 2020. We hadn’t planned on releasing new music at that time but the lockdown changed our plans and we decided to put it out. It’s got over 100K views on @youtube and is closing in on a million streams with all proceed going to @unisonfund! Give it a spin today and reflect on the insane year we’ve all had! #happyfirstbirthday #lockdownrockdown
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